Life's lesson: Never show your true self to anyone...

Truly life is beautiful..beautiful in the sense that at least when I look around when in trouble, I still could feel the breeze embracing me, that's one kind of consoling by mother nature.. I am happy that I am still feeling her..after these long years away from writing, I am back.. 🤔

Let me face all hardships of life..
So that your road to success will be more easier..
Let me have the liberty to take your sorrows..
So that you will console me...
You will console me the way I want..

Nilayude ormmakal

Nilayude theerangalil kalichu valarnna balyam,
innevideyokkeyo njan ethi chernnuvenkilum
nanmayude aa vikrithi niranja balyathinte
smaranakal ennum enne pinthudarnnu,

Innu nilayum kannuneer vattiya penkidavu pole,
Ennum ente sankadangal kettirunna avalum oru
verum ormmayavukayanu...ithoru poorva kala
bandhamano ennenikkariyilla... enkilum njan
ennum vedhanichu,
avalude kannunneeroppan
ennum agrahichu...

pakshe nagarathinte thadavukal
enne ennum avale marakkuvanum
akaluvanum prerippichu
innenikkavalo avalkku
njano illa
ellam oru ormma mathram

Dreaming you is my passion
I always wanted to be with you
So that I can feel you,
To feel the comforts of letting
me free on your arms
I wish if you were with me
so that i can tell you
how much I am missing you
Ur thoughts make me to
dream more and more

For the first time in my fifteen years of life I cried in the memories of a stranger. Oh, it would be untrue if I am saying him stranger. He was my close friend or beyond that… Even now I don’t know how to categorize my feelings for him. When I saw him for the first time, during the Maths tuition class, I felt something wrong with me, he sat on the bench just opposite to me on the other class. Our classes where parted with curtains. First I tried to make an unsuccessful attempt to myself to forget him I tried to convey me that I am here to study not for falling in love. But after one week I realized that I just can’t keep myself away from him. Much to my astonishment, I started waking up in the early morning which I never did in my past, I usually hated early wake ups… and now here I am waking up at 6 AM. Usually after school I would reach home by 4 PM and used to have a black tea and then will gather at the nearby jungle with all the kids in my neighborhood and I adored a very good quality (might be bad in your terms) I can play with a toddler at the age of one even ! Particularly I never looked at the age group, I can have the company of a toddler to an old person. I enjoyed that evening moments and I just hated the early morning hours because morning will start with the boring tuitions, then with the extra boring school classes.
But after seeing him I began to like the tuition classes and my nature has been transformed from that of an innocent kid to a teenager, I started enjoying the moments of loneliness. Instead of playing with friends I would go to the nearby jungle with a pen and book and listened to the beautiful voices of wind and birds for hours I looked at the tranquil sky and imagined as he is sitting next to me, I can hear his breathe, I can look at his beautiful eyes….. This way I created a dreamy world for us, In that wonder world we were never disturbed by the boring lectures, especially of the Maths teacher. Our world consisted of me and him. In my wonderland I made a timber home, when we opened the large glass window the cold breeze of the surrounding trees touched our body and through the window we saw a small stream flowing slowly……and in each and every single moment we loved each other more and more. I wrote passionately about him, his dark hair, and eyes wearing specs, about the way he looked and smiled.
One day I decided to empty my thoughts and I told my tuition friends Asha and Sabi about my feelings for him. They began to laugh at me and at my romantic thoughts wrote on the book and asked “Hey, why are you loving him, You very well know that basically it is impossible for you to make a relationship with him

Ente swapnangal njan ninakkayi
Mathram nalkan agrahikkunnu

Ente swapnangal nirapakittullavayanu..
Ente swapnangaliloode njan ethrayo
Thavana ninnil alinju theernitundu..

Neeyum njanum mathramakunna
Aa manohara nimishangalil

Njan ennum ashichirunnu
Nee ente mathram ayirunnenkil ennu..

Ente kathirippinu avasanam undakumo?